Q:Dearest QueenBee,
I recently went to Atlanta with a friend who had to move for business.
The town was... interesting, but also nice. We went out to a few clubs, nothing spectacular. My query for you is... everywhere we went people would ask me "where do you work?" or "What do you do for a living?" I have no profession, so naturally thats what I said. For some reason people in the US (Atlanta in particular) seem to translate this as unemployed and penniless. I couldn't explain more without being vulgar and I couldn't answer any follow up questions without being crass. They sensed my evasiveness and it only added to their poor impression of me. I bought drinks, I left large tips, not obviously, but tastefully, and I am sure you will agree with me when I say, I don't think I could have done more without being in serious breach of decorum.
My question is, how do I make them understand that I have no profession by choice and that it has no effect on my income or my ability to pay, without being in very poor taste? It never really comes up in London, or in Europe in general for that matter. I, of course, assumed that you being the uber-hip, tres chic queen bee of fabulous would know the answer. Thank you in advance.
-- "JPI, Roma, London "
A:Ah, the pain of being idle and independently wealthy.
While I would like to think that you were surrounded by entrepreneurial types who just can't stop inventing, my first instinct is that you were hanging out with those who will always have to work for a living so they can't imagine any other life.
Now the truth is JPI, that these days it's not chic to "do nothing", which is what a gal pal of mine who's trust fund dwarves our national economy used to say. (Now she says she publishes books.)
Doing nothing implies you have no passion and therefore care about no one/ nothing which is why no amount of etiquette or money can fix it. Therefore you must come up with something to which you will hitch your sails...
So whether you are (choose one):
1. involved in charities
2. a professional host/hostess
3. a writer (another friend of ours occasionally writes an article on her jet set life for magazines)
4. an investor (throw money at something, someone, and me whilst you're at it...)
People will always be uncomfortable around those who are cagey (gee, wonder why) and even the seriously dishonest will wonder why you don't have any passion. You wrote to us so you must love something. Find it. Claim it. Stake it.
~The QB
Montreal Bars
New Year's Eve 2004 - Paris and other cities recs
Modern Hotel in Venice
Broken Engagement Etiquette
Birthday AND Hay, ooo la la
QueenBee Clothes
411 on 44 & X Hell's Kitchen
New Hip Listings
Winning in Las Vegas
35 not 25
Left Out of Fashion Week
Auto Hipness
Wine Whine
Boy from Chicago Goes to New York
Two Boys Go Clubbing
The Expats Are Coming
Chic Leftovers
A Softer Gentler Hip
Apo-thetic
L.A. Hair Woes
Woes of the Non Drinker
Music at the Clubs
How Bottle Service Works
Featuring Products
Pink Shirt Brits
Don't Put Another Dime in the 80s Jukebox
JetLagged Brits in Manhattan
One Night in New York
Prague Bound
Two Days in the Valley
44 and Gay Too Old for Dancing?
Event Planning 2
The Guest List
No Clubs For You!
St Tropez
A big group and low budget but has to be cool?!
Hip Sports
Skiathos Suitcase
Bare Contortionists at Dinner
Cheapo London Digs
Event Planning
The Right Night
Summer Romances
Men and Sandals
Favourite Italian in New York
Seattle Hair Salons
Hip Honeymoon
Only 22
Too Many Parties?
Dial a Los Angeles Celeb
Booking a Chic Paris Table A Deux
private parties
A Recession Summer Holiday
Finding Other Hip-ettes in the Big Apple
Superbowl 2006
How To Be Cool
Bolthouse
Detroit Food
Pet the Pet Peeve
Bad Host! Bad Host!
The Hamptons
the uncool friend
Need Help?
Looking for style in all the wrong places? Ask here and all shall be revealed.
terms of use
© Copyright 1998-2024 Hipguide