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This Week's HipBites

Here today Gone to LA

Last week, while we were in Australia, we actually got a trans-world phone call asking us about MTV VMA after parties.
We're not thinking about what parties you should go to while we're busy buying kangaroo jerky!

So don't lie!
Every time we get a 3 a.m. phone call, we know it's cause you were too lazy to even mouse over the bubble that navigates our happy little guide.

So, dang, that's what these happy little quickie-city 48 hour spotlights are for.
Print out the following (this one's for L.A.) and stop calling us in the middle of the night.

Truths About L.A.:

1. Always make dinner plans with at least three groups of people because two of them will cancel.

Dinner at Falcon
Possibly the most beautiful outdoor/indoor room ever built. Completely roof-less, the grey wall around the courtyard is so serene and opened up to the sky. A fireplace and heat lamps tend to any chilly L.A. night and the best part is when your guests cancel, you can pick up other gorgeous diners sitting next to you, or even put your expanding party on the tiered stone seating.

2. Everyone in L.A. is late for dinner.

Sushi and drinks at White Lotus
Only at White Lotus could your guests not want to kill you when you get stuck on the 101. Again. They can do some happy damage to your platinum card with $19 abalone and $48 toro over sake as they wait in the bar or dancey lounge area for you.
Hint: paying the VIP valet fee really does get you your car faster.

3. If you aren't in the industry, you're no one.

The Ivy
is still the place for lunch. If you just can't close that deal because you haven't had your Coffee Bean fix for the day, you can still celeb spot. We caught Jeff Goldblum with a tween, that we hope but just know she's not, his adopted daughter.

4. Speaking of the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, you will have to drive for at least 30 minutes even if you're only going to the Coffee Bean.

So we highly recommend swinging through for a bev (we like Jamba Juice's power boosters too) or you won't make it through the long L.A. drives. Week before last, Coffee Bean did 40 cent coffees so we had A LOT of them.

5. However, everyone will claim they're 20 minutes away from you even if they're in Burbank and you're in Santa Monica.

Sirius satellite radio system
Seriously, speaking of those drives, you must have Sirius. We had it in their BMW SUV (picture tiny hipguide exec with tiny plaid school girl skirt, GIANT Jamba Juice, GIANT straw, Havaiana flip flops, BIG BIG music coming out of sun roof).
The superb satellite radio saved our bored butts.

6. Only in L.A. can a doggie poop in a hotel lobby and the concierge doesn't blink.

The Avalon
The staff at this Beverly Hills hideaway are cool cool cool. Nothing fazes them.
Not requests for last minute reservations at Ago, Dolce, Falcon, or Les Deux- all at once. Not Sean Astin from Lord of the Rings breezing through.
Not lost room keys.
Not requests for more Thymes lotion, toothbrushes, robes, a plunger- all at once.
No not even the dog pooping in their pristine lobby.
Plus they have the best hotel coffee in town and a sumptuous pool to breakfast at once you're sick of your Noguchi and Nelson furnished room.

7. There's always only one best place at a time in L.A.

Right now it's Dolce.
Don't let anyone tell you differently.

8. There's always only one good promoter night at a time in L.A.

Wednesdays at Concorde.
Right now it's Brent Bolthouse's Wednesday at Concorde.
Don't let anyone tell you differently.

9. Any shop featured in an Alicia Silverstone movie is over-rated.

There are only two reasons to go to Fred Segal.
One, the Punk Royal boutique.
Two, the Imx lip gloss machine where you make your own gloss pen, complete with choice of flavouring and sparkle.
Other than that, skip the Factory 'O' Cheese (what's up with the horrendous Filene-esque over head fluoro lighting?) and go to:
Ku and Off The Wall. Fabulous clothes from local designers - above mentioned plaid school girl skirt with skulls and fuzzy dice- and collectible antique furnishings, respectively. Both on Melrose.

10. L.A. is cheesy but no one admits it.

The fake tans.
The fake boobs.
The fake jewelry.
It's all a bit over the top.
But no one admits it.
Except us.
We liked best the Farmer's Daughter Motel. A motel with gingham plaid covers, flower pot decorations, primary coloured walls. A little wrong in every way, and still a motel.

Lastly, An Honest- to- God Free Stereo We Finagled For HipGuide Readers

We liked Sirius so much, we're making them give you free equipment.
No joke.
HipGuide readers of course.
A free SIRIUS radio (retail it'll set you back $169.00) if you make a one-year service commitment (bout $13 a month- cheap, eh?)

They didn't pay us and we don't get a kickback, we promise so you know the rec is true.

Request the Audiovox before the Kenwood, simply because the Audiovox doesn't require any additional installation and works through a wireless connection. You should also specify if you want the car kit or the home kit, for free.

Only thing is there are limited units set aside for us, so drop a line TO: thomas.meyer@pr21.com quick! He says offer is only good till end of this month.

p.s. They tell us there are 60 commercial-free music streams and 40 streams of talk, news and entertainment, but we liked The Pulse, The Trend, and 80s best.

above the unmistakeable sign of SmeL.A.


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